Helping Children Cope with Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide
As a children’s counsellor and a parent, I understand how difficult it can be to watch your child struggle with anxiety. Whether it’s caused by school pressures, social interactions, or changes at home, anxiety can affect children in ways that are sometimes hard for us as parents to fully understand. Through my work with young clients at my children’s counselling service, I’ve seen how anxiety can manifest differently for each child, and I’ve also witnessed how the right support can make a significant difference.
In this post, I’ll share some strategies I’ve used to help my own daughter, Joy, manage her anxiety. I’ll also provide advice for parents on how they can support their children at home. Additionally, I’ll introduce the services I offer for children dealing with anxiety, as professional support can be a valuable resource for many families.
Recognising the Signs of Anxiety in Children
Before discussing coping strategies, it’s important to recognise the signs of anxiety in your child. Sometimes, anxiety presents itself in ways that don’t immediately seem related to worry or fear. You might notice your child becoming more irritable, having trouble sleeping, or complaining of stomach aches with no clear physical cause. At other times, they might withdraw or become reluctant to take part in activities they usually enjoy.
For example, my daughter Joy often experienced anxiety, particularly around new social situations. She would hesitate to join group activities and frequently complained of feeling unwell before school. It wasn’t until we sat down and talked about her worries that I realised how much her anxiety was affecting her daily life.
Create a Safe and Open Space for Communication
One of the most important steps in helping your child cope with anxiety is encouraging open communication. When children feel safe to express their worries, they’re more likely to share their feelings, which can be the first step in managing anxiety.
With Joy, I made sure to create time where we could talk about her feelings in a quiet, comfortable space. These conversations often took place before bedtime or during a calm activity like drawing. Keeping the conversation relaxed and pressure-free helped her open up. As parents, we may be tempted to offer solutions or dismiss their worries with phrases like “It’ll be fine,” but I’ve found that simply listening and acknowledging their feelings can make a huge difference.
Teach Relaxation and Mindfulness Techniques
Helping children develop strategies to calm themselves when they feel anxious is incredibly valuable. Mindfulness exercises, deep breathing techniques, and progressive muscle relaxation are all useful tools for children who struggle with anxiety. These are techniques I often recommend to parents, and they’ve also been helpful in my own home.
One technique that worked particularly well with Joy was teddy bear breathing, a child-friendly approach to deep breathing. We would lie down, and she would place her favourite teddy bear on her tummy. I encouraged her to watch the teddy rise and fall as she breathed in and out. The visual focus of seeing her teddy move helped her understand how deep breathing can calm her body and mind. It became a comforting routine that she looked forward to, especially before bed or during anxious moments.
Alongside teddy bear breathing, we also practised guided imagery, where Joy would imagine a peaceful place where she felt safe and calm. Practising these techniques at home can give your child tools to manage their anxious feelings in a way that feels natural and comforting to them.
Establish Predictable Routines
Children thrive on routine, and knowing what to expect can help reduce anxiety, especially if they’re worried about change or the unknown. If certain situations trigger anxiety—such as going to school or attending a new activity—try to create a predictable routine around it.
For example, if Joy was feeling anxious about starting a new school year, we would talk through the day’s schedule step by step the night before, so she knew what to expect. I also found that incorporating a special goodbye ritual helped ease her transition into the school day.
One approach that worked well for us was giving her something small that smelled like me—like a scarf or handkerchief—so she had a physical reminder of comfort and connection throughout the day. Another idea we used was drawing a little heart on her wrist each morning. It became our way of saying, “I’m with you even when I’m not there,” and she could look at the heart whenever she felt anxious as a reminder of our bond. These small rituals can give children a sense of security and help them feel more confident when navigating challenging situations.
Encourage Gradual Exposure to Fears
Avoiding situations that cause anxiety can sometimes make the problem worse over time. Instead, gently encouraging your child to face their fears in small, manageable steps can help build their confidence. This approach, known as gradual exposure, is a technique I use frequently in my children’s counselling practice.
When Joy was younger, she was quite anxious about joining group activities. We started by attending events for a short period and gradually increased the time as she became more comfortable. It’s important not to rush the process, but rather to move at your child’s pace and celebrate the small victories along the way.
Professional Support for Children with Anxiety
If your child’s anxiety feels overwhelming or persistent, seeking professional support can provide additional tools and guidance. At my children’s counselling service, I specialise in helping children cope with anxiety, attachment issues, and trauma. I understand how anxiety can affect not only the child but the whole family, and I work closely with both parents and children to develop coping strategies that fit their unique situation.
In our sessions, I use child-friendly techniques such as play therapy and creative activities to help children express their feelings and explore what’s behind their anxiety.
Final Thoughts
Helping a child navigate anxiety can be challenging, but as parents, we are their greatest allies. By recognising the signs, offering a listening ear, teaching coping strategies, and maintaining routines, you can provide invaluable support to your anxious child. Every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another, but the most important thing is to remain patient and supportive.
If you feel your child could benefit from additional support, don’t hesitate to get in touch. At Find Joy in Adversity, I’m here to help children and their families navigate anxiety and other emotional challenges with care and understanding. Together, we can work towards a future where your child feels more confident and at ease.