Managing Social Anxiety at work
Social Anxiety Disorder (social phobia) is the third-largest mental health care problem in the world today and government data shows that it affects 7% of the population at any given time. If you are affected by social anxiety then it’s certain that it is prominent in your work life. The emergence of COVID -19 and the strict lockdown rules may have seemed like a blessing to those who have social anxiety as it’s a free pass to avoid contact with others however it might have also caused more anxiety anticipating a return to previous or new hybrid ways of working. In this guide, I’m going to talk about the key ways to start managing social anxiety again so you can embrace any changes that you are facing.
How and when might social anxiety affect me at work?
To the outwardly confident and outspoken types who are less affected by social anxiety, people with social anxiety may appear shy, quiet, withdrawn, nervous, aloof, or disinterested at times which can make it difficult to build connections or friendships
Social anxiety can get in the way of the things that you desire in your work life. You might want to be more engaged with social interactions as part of the team. Having fun at work is an important part of any job and social anxiety can leave you feeling like you can’t have fun. Promotion or variety in your role might be something that you crave but your social anxiety leaves you feeling useless, bored and stuck in your career.
Fear of someone else negatively judging or evaluating you is part of human instinct, after all, our chances of survival increases when we are accepted into our social circle. There are however those of us who have been unintentionally taught unhelpful habits and beliefs from birth that might have led us to avoid putting ourselves into situations where we feel rejected. The workplace is a minefield of situations like these including:
- Being introduced to other people
- Being teased or criticized
- Being the centre of attention
- Being watched or observed while doing something
- Having to say something in a formal, public situation
- Meeting people in authority (“important people/authority figures”)
- Feeling insecure and out of place in social situations (“I don’t know what to say.”)
- Embarrassing easily (e.g., blushing, shaking)
- Meeting other peoples’ eyes
- Swallowing, writing, talking, making phone calls if in public
How can I lessen my social anxiety?
Firstly It’s important to remember that you cannot control how others see you, you can only control how you see yourself. The story you tell yourself about social anxiety will set the scene for how it plays out so if you think that it is a huge problem in your life, it will have become one. If however, you accept that introversion is only a personality type that many people have and that introversion can be a strength you can learn how to harness its power along with weaknesses. All personality types have pros and cons, fact!
Feel the fear and do it anyway, tell yourself that it’s ok to feel fear about being negatively criticised. Think of all the difficult things you have faced in your life and come out of the other side as a stronger person. Allowing yourself the chance to feel the fear and do what you want might mean the fear subsides gradually.
Describe all the sensations you have in your body when you’re feeling social anxiety. Does your throat close up or your heart rate gets faster? In addition to this, do you hear all the negative criticisms that people might be thinking in your head? Explore this side of social anxiety instead of trying to stop or avoid it. Using different parts of your brain, i.e the logical part will slowly start to switch off the fight or flight reactions and get your brain back to focusing on contributing to that conversation or speaking up in that meeting.
Create a list of intentional thoughts to think. The thoughts that we think often create the emotions we feel and how we behave. An example of an unhelpful thought might be ‘my social anxiety is awful I just want it to stop’ and this creates a feeling of overwhelm or despair which leads you to avoid the situation. If you can intentionally choose to think ‘ I’m an expert at feeling social anxiety so I’m going to welcome it in this can create feelings of empowerment which will motivate you to face the situation despite your social anxiety. New thoughts will start to build new neural pathways over time so it’s possible that you can rewire your brain.
Set yourself a social dare for the day. Social anxiety can encourage us to stay within our comfort zones. Committing to the process of change begins with stepping outside your comfort zone slowly but surely and gradually day by day you will notice that your focus changes from avoiding social interactions to seeking them out. At first, you might feel more social anxiety but after only a short period you will start to understand the benefits of stepping outside your comfort zones.
Look for evidence that you’re great at handling social anxiety. Set your brain to work at finding all the reasons why your good at managing social anxiety. Nothing is too big or too small but be on the lookout as much as possible. At first, it might be helpful to make a list that you can keep near to remind you. The more praise you give yourself for managing social anxiety the more its negative effects will start to lessen on you.